A Beautiful Shadow I Saw
by
Ebony O'Sullivan

A beautiful dark shadow I saw, I saw him, like a beautiful dark shadow his gracefulness, the way he moved his legs going forward leap by leap, his wildness and wiliness; he was mine, he was my love. Daniel was mine and I were his, the others told me the evilness that were in his heart, the way he could make me feel like an angel but he wasn’t. My angel was a monster but I couldn’t see it. The love and passion we shared, the memories were mine, the breakup was his.

You come to moments in your life where you will find your at a crossroads without a roadmap. Your not sure where your headed and where I once saw darkness I found love, but this time I saw darkness and I was truly lost.  I couldn’t find my roadmap and I didn’t know where to run and then I just hid.

The moments from that breakup I never found my way back, I couldn’t, mine and Daniels passion was an addictive drug that I grew to love. While he moved on and acted like an animal, I went to school then went home everyday with darkness in my heart, I was hollow and wished I never tasted that drug, I wished I never felt that passion.  I was headed know where, I had nothing to offer and my future was gone.... well that’s what I thought anyway.  

You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices. Or you can fight back. In the real world things aren’t always going to be fair, infact things most of the time their going to be far from fair and that’s just the way it is.

If only I could have seen that before I wasted 15 years of my young life. What I wished I had realized is that the rest of my life was being shaped right then, my future was in my grasp, and I should have chased my dreams and decide the person I was going to be, but now it is to late. 

Passion lies in all of us, when you wake up and go to bed that is what is in your heart. Passion is the drive that makes you hurt and want to die. Passion is the source of all good and evil, it is there when your happy, it is there when you are down and it is there in the ecstasy of life.  Without passion maybe we would know some kind of peace but we would be hollow inside, we would be shadows, without passion we’d be truly dead. 

If I had realized what I could have made of my life before I was going to die I would have. The rest of my life now is only a couple of hours, minutes maybe and I wasted it on one dark prince that I couldn’t live without and couldn’t live without his passion. Now all I can do is sit here on my deathbed and put pen to paper and write something real not some bedtime story. Im putting pen to paper because when people die others find inscriptions and passages people have written about their lives and it helps them with there own, and that is what I am trying to do.

The world keeps moving and you have to keep moving with it and that is what I forgot to do. A lot of people die with there music still left in them… well at least that is true for me but doesn’t have to be true for you.